June 27th 2020

You didn't leave anything undone

You did more than you ever should have

You did everything I ever asked for and wished for

And for some strange reason

I had to pull away

To be on my own

To figure out who I am on my own

And it turns out

I'm no different

I'm still me. Still happy some days and

Sad and grieving another

But

On my own

Without your input

I needed that time alone and I still do.

I'm sorry you never understood.

I'm sorry I didn't take fair time to explain.

I'm sorry I got mad at you for getting mad at me.

You didn't know any better. I didn't know any better.

I had to to find my inner knowledge of me being in charge of my life

For all of my joys and miseries

Because at times it got too tangled up with yours and I wasn't sure of the life I was living in. I wasn't sure who's was it. I didn't know what to do with it

When it's from God, it comes with a confirmation

And so it did and so we let it

But when it was time to leave

It came with a confirmation too. We were just too stubborn to admit it

So I'll extend my prayer of gratitude to you tonight as well

Even though I didn't do right things and say right words at the right time

Even though we could've done so much better

Even though I should have been so much better person for you and myself

And likewise.

I'm grateful for the fact you were in my life and now continue on your own path

Because I'm forever grateful

(Things I think but rarely say out loud)